You know So and So? That person you think of when you think of that trait or scenario? Like, “So and so is really good at that thing.” or “So and so really tanked that opportunity.” or “I wish I could be more like so and so.” or maybe you’re more familiar with So and So’s cousin, Such and Such, “At least I’m not like such and such.”
I’m doing a study on guilt and how it impacts our daily decisions and responses. At first I honestly didn’t think I dealt with shame and guilt that much. Not that there weren’t things I had done wrong, or things I regretted, but more that I didn’t think the residue of those thoughts and choices had some unconscious grip on me that might be reflected in some of my day to day frustrations. But I do. I actually have a decent amount of guilt. Anyway, one of the things this study has you do is try to uncover the different ways we might be motivated by guilt. It aims to help you see the repeated thought patterns that could alert us that guilt is the driver in the moment. In sorting through my own thoughts I noticed a pattern. I make a lot of choices in an effort to “not be like so and so.” I tell myself, “If you quit that thing, you’ll be just like so and so.” or “But if you do that, won’t that be just like when so and so did it.” and for sure, “Be careful, you’re probably coming across like such and such.”
In reflecting on this thread of thinking I felt like God whispered to me, “You spend so much time trying not to be someone, that you miss putting energy into who you actually do want to be.”
What about your thoughts? What’s a driver for you that might be wasted energy? Do So and So or Such and Such take up too much space? Or maybe all you see is you, and to turn your gaze toward So and So is actually a needed distraction from the ego. Be mindful to create space in your life to think on your thoughts. And then, listen for Higher thoughts too.
So and So