I was ranting to Sal about a situation that was frustrating me. I’ll admit this whole situation had quickly become something way bigger than it actually was, and it was taking up way too much mental real estate, but I was so frustrated, and I kept trying to make sense of the whole thing through rant filled conversation.
I was unusually angry and I was then angry when other people weren’t angry with me. How as this thing not driving everyone as crazy as it was driving me!?! Didn’t they see it?!
As I have gotten older it’s been easier to let things go. I’ve shared before about two kinds of “letting go.” The whole “I am done with you/don’t care/oh well you are just always gonna do/be this way,” in opposition to, “I am done/release/hope for others and peace for yourself way.” I’ve actually been so thankful that it’s gotten easier and easier to genuinely let go that second way. But this past week I got stuck.
As I was ranting I was listing all the reasons my frustration was valid. I had several pieces of evidence as to why everyone should be mad. I could site dates and times people should have been offended, and then I correlated that with how those things should directly impact how people should be handling this situation. There was so much truth, things that actually did happen, that were not okay. And the potential for that to happen more was right in front of us. But for some reason, I was the only one that seemed to really have a problem. Others agreed with me. Yes, those moments did happen. Yes, those choices might not have been the way it should have been handled. But then it was as if they let it go. Yes, it’s there, but no, I am not going to respond in anger, and they for sure did not share my passion for what was “right.”
Does God ever give you a look? Like you can picture an expression when you say something? You make a statement and you immediately feel this glance from heaven and you can envision the emoji that would match it?
As I said, “It’s as if people are choosing to ignore the negative and only seeing the current situation and the good. I hate when people respond that way.”
Insert God-moji 🤔
This is in my top three used emojis. Mainly because I feel like God looks at me this way often, and two, it’s the more grace-and-kindness-filled version of my most often used emoji, 😒.
I paused to remember. While consequences are real, and naturally evolve 99% of the time, I live in a reality where God intentionally has chosen to essentially push past my negative and see me right where I am. God decided His response for my relationship with Him long before I started trying to get my stuff together.
I don’t believe God “turns a blind eye,” or “ignores sin,” (just read Galatians 6:7) but more has predetermined to offer love and relationship to me in spite of the more struggling parts of my me-ness. (read Psalm 103:12) Which should actually make me overflow with healthy living as a response. (read Romans 6)
Those of you itching to let these thoughts spiral you into a theological debate regarding sin, salvation, predestination (all 2 of you (and the 2 of you that are now wondering who the other two people may be.)) – please just message me privately. I do love those convos, but today I’m just wanting to share a simple thought.
You are not the sum of your negative things. God sees you where you are and loves you so much more than you can imagine. God has already chosen His response to you, and loves you enough to allow you the freedom to choose your response to that. And this is a moment by moment thing, a daily thing, a weekly thing and a forever thing.
I get to choose how I will respond to this person about this situation. My frustration may make so much sense, but so should my maturity in my response.
As I was Ranting